UPDATE: I had a conversation with her reaffirming my/our boundaries. Also stating that if things escalated on her end or if we ended up pregnant again (while trying to prevent it) I would need to figure out other living arrangements. She took several weeks to process the information. Said I threatened her by saying I would break the lease, said a bunch of things about my character and how she is concerned for me to be around her daughter now. Things I fundamentally don't agree with. ADD: also, she decided to change her portion of rent and just dictated to me the change in that conversation.

I'm going to have another discussion with her soon. I don't feel comfortable living with someone who defames my character and doesn't want me around their kid. Plus she changes whatever she wants how she wants. I have no trust in anything because if she changes her mind she'll just expect me to adapt.

Hey,

My bestie and I have been talking about moving in for awhile. At some point her and her situationship was disussed and him not knowing our address (toxic relationship I want no connection to). They eneded things for awhile. We had a group convo my bestie, my partner, and myself that we would not be comfortable with him/him knowing the address. She agreed to it, and said she wanted it.

Not even a month into the lease and she adressed him coming over. 1st/2nd convo was her kinda asking permission, which we ended with stating we wouldn't feel safe/comfortable. Then a few days later she came to us saying she wasn't asking permission. All the things about what she said they were is also showing to be false. We cannot trust anything she says around boundary commitments/expectations.

Additionally, I had a miscarriage during this time. There is a ton of back story to all these aspects but my partner and I now dont feel comfortable at home when he is there and are having to change family planning.

I have no idea what to do here. I dont like telling people what to do. They are adults but now it is bleeding into our life plans. We are only 1 month into these lease. Are we over reacting? Wtf do we do?