So recently I realized that I am emotionally bound strictly to the moment (not by choice, but nature, so I cant even hold onto emotional memory, or experiences, thus can't fall in love with the idea of somone, but only the moment to moment expeirnces, which also causes me to move on just as fast if I no longer trust them, I would be happier alone, or feel they are in my way of life or freedom)

None the less a part of me still wants a wholesome and hoenst relationship, but I know I can't just form it by looking at somone, and I refuse to do the traditional dating thing of lying to them and making them feel special (especially if I don't know them well or have not discussed an agreement to do so... or want to myself)

The hard part is alot of people seem to fall in love with me for who I am, and become upset because I am unable to do so. I know for me I need shared action or projects, as well as an understanding that if I am not focused on them or with them, I won't feel much towards them beyond understanding my view of them (such as trust or appreciation, as those don't need emotions to be present to exist)

....

Hmm, I guess I just want some advice on how to date with this hiccup, as I am afraid of breaking anyone's heart again. But I also can't just do simple one night stands, as I want real bonding, even if it won't last for ever, I want to belive I can try still, but want somone who won't take it to heart if I am not able to.

And trust me I only recently found out this problem of no emotional capacity to connect outside of action of the moment. But unfortunately this also means that all my exes may have actually loved me, as they did mention feeling safe, secure, and all that, but all I saw (as I am action bound) was them using me for sex and complaining about how I didn't do what they wanted me to..... well mabey it was still unhealthy, but you get the idea, as I feel this problem will keep me from somthing I wanted and looked for all my adult life.... and that's a healthy relationship with somone I trust, and appreciate, as I know I can be and do anything... I just want to find somone who can share this and be with me beyond just appreciating who I am or how I make them feel (as unfortunately this equates to next to nothing for me)