I'll be brief as likely you've all heard what I'm about to say before.

New Years Eve is almost upon us. During this time it's natural to look backward as we head forward to the unknown. It's even common in this time of reflection to observe past behavior in a effort to do better new year. So I'm here to offer the one bit of advice I can.

"Try not to worry about the past."

I know saying that doesn't do much. Trust me, I'm not perfect either when I comes to my own past. So I get how my advice may seem hollow, even dismissive, but stick with me for a second or two. I promise if you read through I'll do my best to explain.

At the end of each day being in a relationship is a choice both people make. If you are lucky enough to be with someone you love then it means that no matter how they came to this point that you are their choice. Guy, gal, or non-binary pal - doesn't matter. We all make the choice to be with the people we are with. Sometimes that choice is one we keep making for months, years, or if you're very lucky decades on end. Other times our choice is something that can change suddenly.

The real thing to focus on here is that time is short and it often doesn't matter what came before because you are the choice of the here and now. Doesn't matter if their body count is 5, 25, or 105. If the person you are with is with you now then it means you have something that has made them choose you over everything in the past. So rather then look back, merely commit to looking forward and give the person you are with a reason to keep choosing you.

One day it will all end, whether through death or just because break ups happen, but the worst thing by far (worse even then retroactive jealousy) is regret. So this new year, commit not to look back. Say that the past has no sway over your future, cause you could endlessly torture yourself with questions of "what if". That's a rabbit hole with no end. So instead, make the choice to simply do your best with what time you have. Least then you can limit the amount of "what if" with your own behavior.

Good luck and happy new year.