Long story short, he was married once before. They were together for 8 years total. Married for 2.

That was a long time ago. Him and I have been together for almost 5 years now. But I still, to this day, feel like I'm second to her. I feel like she was his #1 and no one else will ever fill her shoes. I can't get over the "I'll never be as good as her" feeling. She was his first wife. He stood at the altar and vowed to love her forever. A part of me still thinks he does. Not the in-love type of love, but the I'll always care about you type of love.

It's all in my head though. He never even talks about her. They don't interact anymore. While of course they were in love and must have had good times in those 8 years, I also know she was manipulative and drained the life out of him. He wasn't happy with her, hence why he left.

But still, I don't think I could ever walk down the aisle to him with a real smile on my face. The whole time I would be thinking "he's done this before, so it's not even special."

I hate this.