I (22f) and my bf (36m) just had the explosive blow up of the century. And finding this sub and what RJ is was on one side, eye opening and almost justifying. Like I’m not just fucked up beyond repair, there are others who understand and now resources to help. But I also feel so incredibly guilty for everything I just put my bf thru the past weeks, even if he did piss me off. I’m unable to sleep with out him by me, he’s gone most nights tho, and won’t let me track the tiles on his keys anymore. I get audio hallucinations of his truck coming up the driveway. Even now although I’m 45 min away at a friends. I keep thinking he’s gonna come pick me up. There is no doubt in my mind he’s cheating. He says he isn’t tho and says his angry outbursts are from being accused and I want to trust him but I just see the anger as projecting. But now knowing about RJ is making me go over everything again and really try to think J typed