So, my SO (F47) and I (M48) have been together for 10 years. We have an amazing marriage in almost every way.
This is both our 2nd marriage. Her ex has Never concerned me. I know damn well that I'm netter in every way for her than he ever could be. He literally cheated on her with her best friend and is a all around chump. I don't even care about her short term relationships before me. The one that gets me is her ex fiance that she has told me that they only ended things because he took a job across the country and her kids were too young to uproot them and they decided to end the engagement amicably and remained friends. We get together and things were great. We relocated to the Midwest (her kids were a little older at this time) to be closer to my 2 girls. Let me first say, one of my personal rules is that I have zero connections with any woman I've had history with. No social media, nothing. I have no need to converse with them. However I went on LinkedIn and went to her profile and saw he had messaged her and she said she had been wondering how he was doing. He said "well you're the one who moved to the Midwest and living the wild life." She responds with *ya, if you call moving to the Midwest and coaching sports, then I'm really living on the edge". He responds with "yes you are". Reading this triggered me and made me feel like she was minimizing our huge life change and how important it was for both of us to bring our kids together. It also made me feel like he was softly testing the waters to see how receptive she would be to his making contact. I asked her to delete him on all social media and get rid of his phone number. She grudgingly agreed. Then, since our emails were linked, I look at her Google account and see in her docs folder that before she deleted his number, she screenshot it...this seemed disingenuous to me and like she was leaving the back door open to be able reach out to him if she ever felt the need to. Fast forward another 2 weeks later and we're having dinner. She's makes a joke about how blunt she can be. I laugh and say *ya ok, what's the most blunt thing you've ever said?" And she responds and says, "remember a couple years ago I went on vacation to a family get together? I say yes (I had to work so she went solo) and said that her nephews best friend, whose half her age was at the family get together, and in front of her whole family she told him that he was so hot that if she wasn't married, she would f_ck him on the counter in front of everyone. I got pretty upset. She said it was a joke. I said maybe it was but since I wasn't there to see the context, I felt like she had disrespected the hell out of me in front of her whole family. Then I asked her how she would feel if I said something just like that to a gorgeous woman half her age and waited 2 years to tell her? She responds and says, she can't answer that because she's not a jealous person. To which I then tell her she's now insulting my intelligence. Am I wrong and overreacting or do I have a legitimate gripe hear?