My bf was quite promiscuous in his past during addiction. He has childhood trauma, and used drugs, sex partying to fill a void. He’s been clean and sober many years now, but I can’t help that feel that life with me must be boring and predictable. He tells me he wants this life, a stable partner and family to come home to, someone that loves him. He tells me he has never loved someone as much as me, and that no one has ever loved him as much as I do. He has a sad story… That I’m his greatest love. He treats my son as his own, and tells me my son inspires him to be better. That this life keeps him going through the pain (ptsd for SA). We have amazing sex. But I can’t help that feel like he was a different person before, and I don’t know/trust that person and it scares me. I feel I’ll never measure up to his drug fueled sex experiences, the one night stands, the passion and the fun of that life. How could this life now possibly compare to the dopamine high of his past? I also worry that one day he will get bored and leave.. he was somewhat nomadic and pushed people away when he is unwell.

I’ve struggled with RJ in many of my relationships so this is not new. This is my current theme right now. What can I tell myself to feel better?

ETA: I also know that before we met, he would message a lot of women he met in public (serving, restaurants, wherever). He was also “looking” for women, but he says he ends things if he doesn’t see it going long term and wouldn’t let it get this far. Before we met I saw he messaged some really attractive younger women he met in restaurants and he still takes me to those restaurants on dates. He never got dates they turned him down but it makes me self conscious becuase I feel I don’t compare to the women he was after.