My girlfriend of just over a year who i love immensely was extremely open and honest about her previous relationships. She was in a long distance relationship for 6 years prior to us getting together. That relationship didn't work out mainly due to the long distance. Prior to that relationship so probably around 9 years ago she was married to a guy who i can only describe as a typical narcissist. It sounds like it was a really manic relationship and she eventually divorced him. During their relationship they were actively involved with the swinging lifestyle. My curiosity led me to ask questions about it and some of the stuff they got up to I've never ever imagined. The typical threesomes and group sex etc.

I have found myself consumed with the thoughts of her swinging and engaging in these sex acts and I've come to realize I'm suffering from RJ. I then realized that I'm blaming it on her sexual swinging past but in reality if it wasn't that she was into swinging I would have probably still found something to obsess over.

When I've tried to analysis why I'm so consumed with these thoughts it's less about the sex and more about her experiencing these less than normal sexual experiences with another guy and not me that gets me upset and anxious.

I think I'm just asking if it is possible for me to get over this or is RJ dependent on what the actual thing is that you're obsessing over. Could my RJ be more complex because it's on regards to a very sexual past or doesn't it make much difference?

I can see that I'm wasting my time over obsessing about it and it wasn't cheating. It was just something they enjoyed. It was many years ago and she doesn't mention it unless I ask.

Has anyone else dealt with a similar situation?