I took this substance, volumetrically dosed, with my partner. We took more than we should've because of a tolerance, and because it seemingly didn't work previous times. Estimated dose was about 100mg (25 is a heavy dose).

Before I was able to even prepare for the experince going deeper, I was violently and abruptly ripped in a glitch hell hole, where I was farther from reality than I've ever found myself. My bed turned into a basking rock of pure moral and existential humiliation and judgement and as my body writhed in discomfort. My consciouss was eviscerated but my soul was not re-assigned. I could see and hear, but not process or understand what I was processing.

I was caught between realities, stuck between the fabric of my bed and the universe itself, and there seemed to exist a deeper dimesional hole in the room, from which reality broke down entirely. It had a very strong sense of impending doom, emitted haunting looped audio and such a jaw dropping power, that I was certain it would somehow be exponentially more horrific than the ocean of terror I was already swimming in. It was clearly a lower dimension to ours in which souls are tourtured, which was somehow very evident. Nothing was certain except that if I was to succumb to the new reality, I would slip deeper into inescapable horror beyond comprehension in a universe of never ending existential torture of absolute loneliness and dread. It was an ever turning, unfolding, repeating, machine-like reality that is more real than life. I knew I would never find my way back due to the sheer power and size of this black hole I was slipping ever faster towards. It was pure energy of fear and horror. Nothing had ever felt so real before, I was finally in the afterlife, free of my body, yet I had never felt so trapped, doomed and horrified. Gripping at the fleeting memories I had of my surroundings had no relief, only frustration that I was stuck. There was no drugs, no dream. This is it, I finally did it, and I won't escape a second of the moral torture I was surely about to experince. I'm slipping too fast.

Once it enveloped me, I was pure energy of broken consciousness doomed to an eternity of immoral torture with no outside stimulation aside from my own broken, looped thoughts, missing what I once was. I was completely physicaly paralyzed and utterly helpless. My body morphed, sliced and distored in thr most uncomfortable way inaginable. Every moment felt as torturous and helpless as Id imagine real torture would feel like, or an animal being esten alive but if they never die. Just a paralysed body for eternity. There was nothing to do except to accept the new reality of incomprehensible horrors. I dreaded my existence but I could only just observe the torture, the looping and fractalization of my mind. There was simply no fighting it, no way to understand this new fate, yet I knew I was once more and that something truly awful happened to my soul. I was doomed to an eternity of being a broken dimension. An ever sensing, loathing consciousness without even the privilege of remembering what I did to deserve this afterlife. I was literally like the colonials from all tomorrows, except each 'brick' person was a thought, idea or part of what I once was that no longer existed as one.

We recall embracing each other during the heart of the trip out of desperate for artifical comfort since we were only with a distant memory of each other, so far from authentic. It was not truly each other, just an alien. I remember it felt like an organic dance, a desperate, symbiotic organism arranging its body in hopes to resemble its former self. A forceful, sharp and very unpleasant body high took over my body and I blankly listened to the mechanical screeching that was the auditory hallucination. Our bodies convulsed and pulsated like an exposed maggot or slug covered in salt. We were one organism, doomed to psycholoigical and morphological torture like an "All Tomorrows" creature, as we pretended each other were actually real for temporary relief from this limbo-void-hell. Suddenly finding myself looking down on my body sitting on the toilet, my vision confirmed the fact that I was NOT in reality, and in a dream, or an alternate reality. It didn't matter, nor tease further inspection since I knew I wouldn't be able to resolve, understand or escape the nightmare. I was stuck without hope. I missed my fiance so dearly.

At this point, I was back in my own reality, but my fiance was experiencing ego death still. I noticed her discomfort, and asked her what was wrong, thinking I had just woke from a bad dream. She said "It's not really you. Please stop". I reassured her "no, sweetheart, we took drugs earlier, I think you're experiencing a night terror or something because of it", but she wasn't believing it. She kept saying my first name, "wait.. SWIM?", "yes sweetheart, I'm right here with you, it's okay" I would repeat. It wasn't until several minutes and after she said my full legal name, ensuring it was really the old me, with relieving disbelief in her voice that she was really seeing me again. It wasn't until several sober hours of not sleeping later, that I asked "hey, do you remember actually falling asleep or waking up at all?". "Uhmm, no, not at all actually" she replied. "Holy f**k, we never did fall asleep". The hell was real and we really experienced it separately. We both began shaking at the realization of what happened. It was such a real, and terrifyingly long destiny I was without a doubt about to be doomed to. I'm surprised that I didn't experince any trauma from it. We were both able to relax and go with the flow as much as we could despite not understanding anything we were going through due to the overdose.

We didn't sleep for a second that night, even once seemingly sober. I've experienced ego death before, and even existential horrors, but the chemical is damn convincing. Especially since we were convinced it was a dream for so long once it wore off.

TLDR - The hole was so deep and terrifying, that it was literally hell on earth, complete ego death, and my trip partner and I both thought it was just a nightmare until 5 hours sober, assuming we fell asleep without realizing it.