About a year and a bit ago, my life changed. I self-destructed, 6 attempts at suicide i had woken up.on day, and convinced myself my wife did not love me. Everything she did was against loveimg me. She never paid attention to me. Any conflict wift other man would get me the same response iam tacking it the wrong way iam not understanding what they said. We've been married for 15 years, and never once has she ever put anything positive towards the sexual side of our relationship. This, and everything that she did, things like pushing me away in public, not allowing me to show her affection in front of others or public, convinced myself that she did not love me. All while dealing with a major work injury, also trying to obtain a medical diagnosis over the last 10 years, drug abuse, drug dependency. But in all of this, my wife knew that I was abusing medication, never once did she turnevr up to a doctor to express her concern, only ever did that to me. Then she comes out and says that she never thinks about sex, doesn't like sex, never had a pleasurable experience with sex. And I knew. I knew because she'd never put anything in. Everything I'd ever put in, hand on heart, I've tried everything in that book to get that side of her to be involved. In the bedroom, she's never been involved. Yet I never, ever gave up. Never once in 15 years did I ever cheat on her or give up on her. But after the work accident, and I had a nerve block put in, I come off all the medication. And my prior condition cam back 10 fold crippled me. She decided to get on a plane and fly to Italy at the worst possible time of my life. She left and now blames me for everything iam not the one that has conflict 5⁴. Even though she's here, all we're doing is arguing, day in, day out, day in, day out. I haven't worked in over a year. I haven't earned a dollar in over a year. Prior to that, for 15 years, I spent every cent I had on her. We've travelled more than any person we know our age.i was earning 10k a week and now noth ing but she only see the bad in me. What should I do