I was once in a relationship with a guy who is either an introvert. We dated when I was in eleventh grade, from December 2021-March 2022 (it was a long time ago, and it feels like it now.) I will be honest here and admit that when I learned he had dated a girl who I knew was not conventionally attractive (I am not conventionally attractive, and dealt with body dysmorphia in tenth grade due to some peers of mine, including a former crush, emphasizing this) I started talking to him after he mentioned he was feeling suicidal on his stories in part because coming back from quarantine having dealt with such bad body dysmorphia, I knew that I wanted a boyfriend and suspected that he might be more open to taking me out since he’d had strong feelings for a girl who most wouldn’t think of as conventionally attractive. I was right. We dated, and I regret the relationship now. Here were a few problems: 1) He disrespected my sexual boundaries multiple times. I didn’t leave because of it, but I should have. 2) His mental health was honestly so bad that I think it negatively impacted mine. He also didn’t want to see a therapist. 3) I wanted him to text me more often (my former therapist suggested I may benefit from dating an extrovert. I would want to really feel like my partner was interested - not to an obsessive extent, but idk, knowing - knowing - they like how I look, that we really do have a future together, feeling like they prioritize me.) 4) Communication styles and needs differed. He once described me as sometimes seeming “cold,” maybe he would have benefitted from a partner who had a different love language, or perhaps my resentment toward him was building up and this is what was making it seem that way. But we also just had a different communication style. I created a document around communication and always wanted to create documents of agreements when we were dating if an issue arose. I don’t know, to be honest, how different I’d be now. I like to think that I’d put up with less.

I’m an ISFJ. I recall and admit that, although I shouldn’t have said this so directly, I once advised my ex to walk with his head high so that people would respect him more. I was also once upset/disappointed when he didn’t try to go back and get his money back after he ordered food for us and the cashier gave him the wrong thing. I don’t know whether or not I’ve changed by now.

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