Hello all, I’ve never posted to this sub before so I hope I am following the rules appropriately. My (f/a 32) and my partner (m/gnc 33) were recently kicked off our sport team. My partner is gender non-conforming and tends to be more comfortable around women. (He was actually bullied a lot for that as a kid). Here is the backstory: Six weeks ago he was pulled into the office and told that someone at some point was offended by something he did. That is a quote, he was given no clear information. He was also told someone didn’t like him being at the gym before or after defined training times. Based on this very vague description they expected him to “improve his behavior”. He made what I consider to be every reasonable attempt possible including not talking to or working with people unless they approached him first, leaving asap after class, etc. Last week the coaches pulled him into the office again and told him it was not enough and he was now banned.

He was not given an opportunity to apologize, defend himself or reconcile. He was never even told what he did to offend whoever.

An hour later I was kicked out too because we are in a relationship. During that conversation one coach told me the offending incidents may have happened outside the gym at some group event or other.

Anyways, I don’t know how to support him through this. He is heartbroken. Plus he is scared now that these coaches who are well known in our athletic community will spread rumors about him. I’m very hurt too both because of how I was devalued and by seeing my partner in so much pain. I don’t know how to be supportive in this. Part of me wants to leave a bad review and put them on blast - but I think that might hurt him more than it helps (our sport is a pretty small community here). I also want to reach out to team friends to set the record straight but that may just encourage more drama, why would they believe us over whatever they are hearing? I want to try to “fix things” but I don’t think that’s possible. I’m not the most emotionally adept person so I’m reaching out here to ask how best to support the person I love when he is being discriminated against for who he is.

TL:DR my partner and I were kicked off of our team and banned because his gender expression “made someone uncomfortable”, I don’t know how to support him.