To forward I tried breaking up last night but nothing happened. It ended with me folding on my ambitions and goals and telling her I wouldn’t do any of it and opt for a simpler life. Which is what she wants even tho I won’t be able to. I am considering two SOF contracts or flight school within the next five years with the military. If I do neither and stay civilian options are still massive commitments.(full time field tech and full time engineering for college). She wants me to quit my job and spend more time with her which me and my mom, dad both agree I can’t do. Benefits way to good and offering (20!) certifications paid for on company dime. But it’s a lot of hours. She has done a-lot to change and be less attached but I still feel suffocated. I’m not planning on marriage for about another decade and want to put in the work in my 20’s so I can have the rest of my life for family. She wants kids now and I can’t do that. Any advice for how to word this and actually follow through. It’s been three breakups or attempted breakups now. If we stay together she will be terminally unhappy and I do not want to do that to her. Not words in her mouth but it’s something I know.

TL:DR Me being an ambitious person am feeling suffocated by someone who wants a family too soon. How do you breakup a good relationship based on hypotheticals?