A bit of historyMy bf and I have been together for 4 years now and living together for 3. We we had the same friend group in high school, lost contact for a few years after school, then reconnected and started hanging out in mutual group friend stuff. I liked him for a year before we ended up actually going out, and we just clicked. He also helped me get out of an emotionally/mentally abusive relationship and stood by me as I healed. Now we live in a house I bought and we even have two cats.

The problem? I recognize that every relationship goes through stages and I have now reached the bored/disillusioned stage. My rose tinted glasses are off and I can see everything clearly. I love him and he is my friend. He is heads over heels for me, is my confidant, and helps me out with anything I need. However, there are negatives in the relationship that I need to ask myself if I'm ok with it for the rest of my life.

-Sex. I am a very "adventurous" person when it comes to sex, he is not. There is a very set routine of kissing, me going down on him, and then the actual deed. He doesn't touch me down there because he basically has a phobia that makes his stomach churn. He's been trying a.. little? But the pleasure if completely negated knowing my partner is literally getting sick to his stomach doing so.... We have communicated about all these problems, but I do not see any changes happening. As it stands, I have no sex drive with him despite me usually being a very sexual person....

-Time together. He and I have similar interests, yet I still feel like the time we spend is lacking. He works from home and his main thing he's doing in his free time is video games, this means he's on his computer like 90% of the time. Sometimes we both get into a game we can play together and those are freaking great times. But once the interest in the game dissipates, we go back to not doing much together at all. It makes it very difficult to spend quality time with him.

Our usual day from my perspective when I get home from work is he comes out to greet me and we do a quick "what did you do today?" conversation, then he usually heads back to work/games. I'll spend my night making a food, playing with cats, playing video games, and doing chores with the bf. Most of our interaction is that beginning conversation, chores, occasional popping into to say/ask something, and we always have cuddles in bed. Occasionally we'll go for a walk, out to eat, and sooometimes I can get him to watch a movie with me (he has very limited interest in shows/movies). We've talked about how I feel like I'm spending the same kind of time with him that I'd do with just a regular roommate. We agreed to devoting one night each week to just hanging out with each other, but it didn't last too long. Do I just expect too much and have a skewed sense of how much time the average couple spends together? What is normal? ...What I would like is more time spent together that is more effortless and not just because the other person feels guilty or "oh, it's time spending together time"

My bf and I have a healthy relationship overall, and my daily life is happy enough. But if it doesn't seem like the two situations above are going to change much. I need to decide if I'm ok with those things. But... I also recognize that no relationship is perfect and ours is overall very good. I also worry that I should feel far more sad even thinking about the possibility of breaking up than I do. Can you see how my mind is going around in circles?

I also feel conflicted that if I would ever decide to break it off, I would be breaking his current world. The house is mine, the two cars we have are mine (bought them off my parents, sold bf's old breaking down car), we have pets, share a close knit friend group, and most of the income is from me. Some people may say "he'll figure it out", but that's way easier to say when you don't care about the person.

TL;DR! Bf/I have good relationship. I reached stage where I feel bored/disillusioned. I don't seem some problems getting fixed. Is relationship still right/worth it for me. Advice needed.