I’m three months into probably the most mature relationship I’ve ever been apart of. Communication has been good, there’s been no drama, and I’ve actually gotten more into physical activities and seeing people (while being covid-safe of course). He’s been really good with talking about my anxiety and talking about his own emotions as well. Both of us are out of school and working. He just started working full-time at his job a few weeks ago, which is great because he wasn’t getting a lot of hours before and that was causing him a lot of stress. I’ve had two part time jobs since I met him and I’ve been recently studying for a standardized test for a graduate program I’m applying to.

When we first met, I was working a lot, legitimately every single day for two weeks type of a lot, but I always made an effort to talk to him and see him at least twice a week, even for just a sleepover. I’ve reduced my hours at one of my jobs since I started studying for my test so I’m working less but I still am doing a lot of work, if that makes sense.

Since he’s started his job full-time I feel like he’s less interested in hanging out with me. He’s definitely more of an introvert than I am and needs a lot of time alone. I’m also getting a lot of my recharge time when I’m studying and taking breaks, while he’s at an office with people for 40 hours a week. I’ve also felt like he’s pulling away a little in terms of our relationship. I’m not really sure how to describe it other than just a feeling I’m getting. We definitely used to text a lot more, and always made it a priority to text good night and he said he forgot a few days ago and hasn’t texted tonight (which is kind of what made me write this post).

Last week I slept over at his house (which is less stressful for him than staying at my place) and he slept through his alarms after I left (about 15 minutes before his alarm should have gone off). He was really upset and although he didn’t outright blame me, I feel like he felt like I was responsible. I was supposed to stay over at his place again last night, but he texted as I was getting ready that he just needed to be alone.

I understand that people have off days and people are tired sometimes but would it be too much for me to ask to see have a sleepover once a week? We see each other at least twice a week for two hours doing a physical activity but it’s not exactly us-time where we talk and hangout, it’s more focused on the activity. I get that some weeks are busier than others but I just don’t want to fall into a pattern where we don’t get any quality time (by far my top love language) for a whole week. I also have anxiety and have a tendency to overthink texts and the way people are acting. I’d appreciate some suggestions about what I can do in this situation. I feel like I have a tendency to follow my partner’s lead but I’m trying to focus on my needs as well.

TDLR: my boyfriend has been working more and wanting to hang out less and I’ve been feeling neglected.

Update: We talked about it and he said that he doesn’t think he can give me what I need/deserve, and we broke up but are going to attempt to remain friends.