Me and my girlfriend have been together for 1 year, after meeting last summer, and I have spent the past few months both applying for jobs in her country.

Since then I have received 1 offer of work there. Whilst residing in her country I was using EU agreements about period of residency, with an agreement of 'workaway-style' residence with her extended family with whom she lives with.

N.B: This arrangement for living is definitely due to expire over the winter. I have loved living there despite the make-shiftiness because there is lots going on: her extended family are interesting and engaging

I am currently unemployed and my options are either:

• Call off the job and return to my home country to resume the relationship long distance and:
  • Return to uni or apply for jobs in my home country, which has not been successful so far
• Go ahead with the job and almost definitely by winter move in with her

The problem for me is:

I have never been in a serious relationship before, and by my estimations we are a very young one.

I feel very anxious about how things would change if we moved in together:

• that I would maybe feel lonely in a culture that seems quite different from my own (in my experience it is quite different)
• that actually moving there for real, bringing my life there almost in completion would be a totally different dynamic at this early stage.

In response to this my girlfriend tells me she doesn't feel worried, and that I should think about the possibility of it being good and exciting. It is true that directly before this offer I had visions of how elated I would be to get work and continue to live together, and I was quite open about this in conversation.

I think that she is excited that I will be there, but I am telling her that the sky doesn't seem all blue on my side, to which she doesn't really seem to take in or process. It makes me wonder if she just expects me to come there and live with her because I need the job. She is studying and works only for a short period per-year so I do not believe that she will be able to contribute much to financial self-sufficiency if I do go ahead with it, meaning I could feel pressured to stay in that job.

I feel overwhelmed by everything that would happen if we start living together: having fixed holiday to see my family, having to be mostly independent of my family and friends in my home country because mostly they will not be able to help very much with immediate issues.

TL;DR: I'm worried about moving to a foreign country and cohabiting with my girlfriend of 1 year, should I be?