So I was (27F) with my ex (28F) for about 4 years, our relationship was massive ups and downs because she was not out to the world and I totally respected that. About my ex. She was your typical antisocial person who grew up in an antisocial mode where she preferred one on one interaction and hates crowds. I’m a social butterfly who will chat and make friends with everyone. She didn’t have that many friends. Over the years I helped her break out of her social shell and ( not to toot my own horn) but become empathetic. We were each other’s first for everything. I even convinced her to rekindle with her mom who lived across the world. And they have been Talking and rekindling which makes me feel happy for her, but her mom is in VN a kinda traditionalist country where two chicks is a no no. She wanted to date men And she told me that she wants to give her mom a family she can be proud of. And me being madly in love with her, i can’t let her go. However she loves me in her own way that I am a “pillar” in her life and doesn’t want me to leave.

So My love for her makes me stay and I listen to her talk about guys she’s dating or interested in. Now you’re probably wondering WTF am i still sticking around. She’s my first love and I care about her sooo much, I don’t want to see her get hurt, In fact one guy she crushed on turned out to be a catfish. She’s very gullible and innocent.

Everytime I tell her I need to leave her so she can freely date. She breaks down and tells me how I’m her Pillar. I want to cut her out of my life, but my heart keeps telling me to stay until she becomes serious with a guy. I’m still in a protective manner for her. I know I should cut her off but what can I do to stop my self from being her slave to love .

And yes I love her more than she loves me.

TLDR: my ex wants me around as a back up for guys and as her BFF . and like a dumbass I’m still sticking around Because I still want to protect her from harm.

Thank you for reading, any insight is appreciated TIA.