So basically I(23f) met Tom(26m) on Tinder and we hung out a few times but as much as we seemed to hit it off, he kind of dropped off the face of the planet for like... 4 weeks? I kind of left it be because I thought he wasn't feeling it and I don't like to push those sorts of things. The last time I saw him, I went over to his house and I met one of his roommates, Matt(30m). About a week or two afterwards, Matt started messaging me after he added me on Facebook and we got along pretty well. I was still leaving a little bit of space open for Tom because I wasn't sure what was going on with that but when he didn't contact me, I just completely dropped it. Matt and i hung out one time for drinks, it was fun. And then me being who I am, I asked him if he wanted to have sex with me because I felt like it and it seemed like everything was pretty casual. So I ended up going over there one night to do that... But then I started thinking about Tom, right? Because I half expected to run into him when I went over there (i didn't) and I started to think if things would be awkward. So the next day I messaged him for the first time in a really long time and pretty much just let him know that I'd been hanging out with Matt and that I was just letting him know to be courteous and respectful, just in case. He told me that the reason why he hadn't talked to me for so long was because he was taking care of his dad who had been sick. I didn't know this. So of course last night I continue to message him because I told him I still wanted to get to know him because I thought he was a cool dude and we should hang out, Etc. The conversation started getting a bit flirtatious and... I'm really not sure what I'm doing here. Things with Matt are in no way romantic but some of the conversations we've had suggested that he's possibly leaning that way if I continue to I spend time with him. And this wouldnt be any issue for me, but they live together. I wouldn't mind having a relationship with either of them but I don't know either of them very well. I was hoping that me being so straightforward with Matt would give him an idea that I'm not trying to jump into anything serious right away... I like to be in relationships with people ive built a solid friendship with, so I'm not going to just meet a dude and then try and date him when I hardly know him. But I don't know how I can sanely get to know both of them, potentially be having sex with both of them, when they live together and spend significant amounts of time together.

right now it feels like I have to choose between two people I hardly know, but I'm very interested in getting to know both of them, that's the thing - - I was decently into Tom and now that i know he feels the same way despite the stuff he had to deal with concerning his dad, it brought back an interest to know him better. What would....be a good way to go about this? I ended up apologizing to Tom for being so flirtatious with our conversation because I want to cover my bases. I really hate the idea of making either of them feel upset over this. And the thing is, maybe neither of them have any expectations and maybe both of them would be completely fine with me showing up at their place to sleep with the other one, but it isn't usually that simple.

On top of that, I was thinking about it.... but Matt didn't talk to Tom about any of this, that i can tell. I'm getting the feeling that he didn't even approach him and say..."is it cool if i hit that chick up who you brought over that one time" because Tom didnt seem to know that id been talking to Matt at all, or at least he didnt offer any sort of confirmation. He basically just told me that he cant control who i spend time with. And they're friends. They hang out most nights and on the weekends. Matt even talked highly of Tom and said he loved him despite all the times they butt heads blah blah. So....then why not make sure his buddy isnt actually interested in me, right? I was thinking about what I'd do in that situation and id absolutely check in with my friend. Tom met me first. Tom brought be over. I want to ask Matt about that but i also dont want to make a big deal over a hookup situation. Matt and i have good "chemistry", surprisingly so, and thats why i want to follow up with him as well.

Tl;dr two guys who live together are both trying to sleep with me and potentially more, and I don't know who i should priorotize since i am still getting to know both. But it seems impossible to test the waters with both when they're in the same house.