(Reuploaded bc I accidentally used a mean word to describe myself and it got taken down, lol)

So, there’s this guy. I met him back at the start of the fall semester, and through a mix of very similar interests and a lot of late nights studying together, we got really close. We’ve fought, we’ve tearfully made up, we’ve nursed each other back to health, I’ve cried into his chest, the whole shebang. He’s always been there for me even when I’m going through some shit, and I do my best to return the favor. When my father’s health started going downhill and I had to rush home to see him, this sweet, sweet boy not only sent me back home with a soft blanket spritzed with his cologne, but also stayed on call with me each night to make sure I was okay. That random act of kindness still makes me tear up. I felt genuinely loved.

The problem, for a while at least, was my boyfriend [19M]. We had been dating for about three years, but it was not going too hot. We were nonmonogamous through the summer after high school and going into college, so the idea of meeting other people and spending time with them wasn’t considered “cheating,” just no-pressure exploring. There was still a ton of toxicity, though. I ended it pretty recently because I was just sick of the endless cycle of fighting, promising to do better, and then not doing better (on both ends!). There were other reasons, though. The night I decided to end it, I was venting in a call that, because my father passed on our 3rd anniversary and because my dad had ALWAYS disliked him, I didn’t know how to really proceed in this relationship. He got mad that I’d brought it up, hung up, and then sent me twenty (fairly rude) texts. That was enough.

So now I’m single I guess? It kind of feels weird. It’s also brought up some tough topics with 21M. We both really like each other, have great chemistry, and want to make it official. But at the same time I really don’t know if I want to start openly dating someone yet, especially since it’s only been a week. Hell, I don’t think my friends (nor my ex’s friends/family) even know about it yet, and I’m sure as hell not gonna bring that up unwarranted.

Sorry if I’ve been a little rambly. How long do you think I should wait to (publicly) get into a new relationship? I was considering waiting until May at least, beginning of the fall semester at latest. The thing that’s holding me back the most is that 19M and 21M, despite one being fairly jealous of the other, are pretty good friends. We play smash together with our other friend pretty regularly. I really don’t like what 19M’s done to me in the past, but I also don’t want to go out of my way to be an asshole, you feel?

TL;DR just got out of a pretty toxic 3-year relationship, how long should I wait to start dating a guy who seems to openly and genuinely care about me?