Good evening, /r/Relationships.

This is reposted from Raised by Narcissists. I know that sub gets over recommended here, but I only went to RBN after a therapist suggested our mother may be one.

Anyway, I'm 24F, and I left my mother when I was 13 to live with my dad. He was overworked and distant, but at least I didn't deal with the abuse.

My sister (17F) and I are half-sisters through our mother, so she never had any opportunity to leave like I did.

In fact, when I was 13 and called to tell my mom I was leaving, she put my sister (5 going on 6 at the time) on the phone to try and guilt me back home. But that's another story for another time. Today, we're here for my sister.

My mother calls me around 1:30p this afternoon. The conversation went something like this:

Me: Hey, mom. You're on speaker.

(She absolutely loves my SO, so this is a common tactic.)

Her: Come and get your sister she needs to stay with you. She's saying she wants to kill herself. I don't know what's wrong. I'm not gonna lie, I hit her 4 or 5 times.

My SO knows stories of how insane my mother is. I tell her we're on our way, and we make it to their house before 2:30, even though mom calls me being all sickly sweet about it/trying to get us to call it off before we even managed to get our shoes on...

At this point, the situation had mostly diffused. I originally told my SO to wait in the car, but my mother encouraged him to come inside. My stepdad (sister's adopted dad) got my SO a little stoned in the attic and I went into my sister's room to talk to her.

We were interrupted 4 times for less than a 20 minute powwow. 3 times by mom. I forget the first 2 reasons, but the third, she of course, had to violate my personal space by checking the size of my jeans. (I lost 50lbs this year and my jeans are too big).

The third time, our youngest siblings (8M&autistic and 6F), were sent up. The girls share a bedroom and our brother was outside the door goading the youngest to go in.

Anyway, in the 20 min powwow, we were able to get some talking done. I told her to only accept her piece of the blame and not the whole thing. It took me years of therapy not to internalize all the guilt. I let her know that mom is crazy, and that this situation could have happened 10 years ago if it were me or in another 10 years with our youngest sister.

My mom's and my sister's stories lined up more-or-less, and I know that's only because I arrived in less than an hour and the situation hadn't gone through the narcissist's mind mix-up...yet. The situation has all the ear marks of being a tall-tale in 10 years, and I let my SO know.

From what I could suss out, my sister was sulking around and wanted to be left alone. The reason she wanted to be left alone is because a friend committed suicide. This was someone close to her and, on top of it, this someone is my sister's boyfriend's cousin.

Instead of leaving her be, my mom pressed the issue and really REALLY needed to know RIGHT THEN what was bothering my sister. My sister wouldn't share, matched her energy shouting-wise, saying things like "Leave me alone! What's the point of living?"

My mom wanted to "slap her once to get some sense into her" (her words) like a snap-out-of-it scenario, but that turned into several swings. What really surprised me was my MOM confessing that part. Family therapy for my brothers autism and my leaving snapped some sense into her...kinda. I'm sure in a few years the story will be something about my sister attacking her eye roll

My sister then says she wants to leave and my mother lists off everyone in the family like, "Fuck you, I'll call them for you."

When she gets to my name, my sister picks me instead of one of my mom's aunts. I'm glad for several reasons, one being they are spitfires and this would have turned into a fight on the lawn. Or the story would have gone through the narcissist's mind flips earlier...

SO and I left the house around 3:00 because he had to work at 4. My sister stayed to babysit the youngest siblings while mom went to the laundromat. Sister is now out doing Saturday night things with a friend.

There's a city curfew at 11, so she's due at my house within the hour and we'll get to talk about her friend in any way she wants to grieve, and also I'll tell her more strategies to deal with crazy mama. Hopefully I can save her a huge therapy bill.

I'm really fucking poor, but if it comes to it, we can take her in. I hope that doesn't happen for many reasons, but...damn. Here we are. I always knew this was coming. sigh

TL;DR My sister got in her first big fight our mom. I'm posting here for support and advice from folks whose parents aren't crazy or abusive.