So man.....2:40 am long night.... Well so I will explain my side of things from the party to when I found out a couple hours ago and well our talk.

So rewind to NYE, I know most people don't remember theirs, but I am not one to drink at events where I am not familiar with most of the people. I drink when I am around friends. Well I worked and had to be there later in the evening. So cue my arrival, I come through the doors and am greeted by one or two people I know.

I happen to be friends with the host and this was her parents home, whom I knew as well. So I find my fiancee with other girls chatting, she is drunk, I felt manageable level, but she said she was smashed, I have seen her passed out on a floor a few years prior so I know her smashed black out level.

Anyways the party is nice, I am playing rouge in the shadows, speaking with people I haven't seen in awhile, catching up, waiting for new years, my fiancee wanted to have a smoke outside, I said I would join her, she was happy to have company, I came out and she was talking with this guy and I came over, she greeted me and he was evidently put off by my being there and he left. I felt off then and he gave off that ticked air about him.

Well midnight come and goes, and after my fiancée is taken away by the host to puke, if that, I found myself standing on the porch staring into the deep clear skies thinking to myself we are all such small little creatures with such big problems....funny....

So cue guy coming out asking the name of someone I assume was at the party, I turn around and say no just me out here. Well then he decided to stand out in clear air. He starts the conversation. And it eventually leads to him talking about how he was bummed that he was the only guy who was single at the party, here is where I remember crystal clear, I say, "yeah, that's why I brought along a fiancee, automatic kiss at midnight." He laughs once, more of a scoff really, and says "Yeah if you ask me, she doesn't want to marry you."

Oh I was livid, it took every fiber of my being to not hit him so hard, and mid me for thinking, because I was a lot bigger then him, and I have been in a lot of fights, but I really didn't want to fight and start my new year potentially losing my job, my place, or risking my fiancee and mine well being both physical and emotional. So I hold my tongue and glaring at him the whole time. Cold and emotionless I walk away and retrieve my fiancee, as we travel home I tell her what happened. She seemed pissed, saying, what the fuck does he know, and other shit like that.

So she tells me she told the host and she bitched his ass out again (first time was after my fiancee told the host ((her good friend)) about the kiss, I found this out later). I felt fine and all.

So forward to today, my fiancee has been odd. But she has been lusting over me a lot and we have been doing it a bunch, she was on her period before and during NYE, and she was constantly texting me over and over about hot dicking before and after NYE. So I don't feel like it was I fucked up sex.

Anyways just trying to be thorough and all. I sometimes look through her phone, at photos and stuff, she does it on my phone, tablet, and computer all the time, we don't do it looking for shit really, well it was up on her texts when I grabbed it, I saw she had stuff from the host, I wanted a laugh about the guy getting bitched out.

Ha, my surprise, she was texting the host about still kinda wanting to talk to the guy,and how she is upset cause he was only the third guy she kissed, and I was like wait what, then the host was like well what about me(TheTrueJudgeDredd), and my fiancee was worried I would dump her, but she can't stop thinking about him.

So I confront her about it, and she is upset, not because I read the texts, I ask her and she says yes she kissed him and she wanted to know what it was like, and that she had been lying to me about what happened. So I left for some air, smoked a few cigs, came back.

she wants to talk and is saying she deleted texts from the host, and she knew the moment she deleted them she had fucked up. She apologies for betraying my trust, and our relationship. I feel she did, she wanted to know, and acted on it, she told me they were talking and he said your fixed is a lucky guy to have you, and smiled and then he asked to kiss her and she said yes.

I am more mad about her lying to me more than anything....god....3:20....I have to be up in two hours but my head is spinning with thoughts....I don't even know what to do...

We have everything together, a home, a life, pets, stuff....god its all so meaningless....

tl;dr my fiancee allowed a guy to kiss her on NYE at a party, lied to me about it, and then told me she let him only after I found out