Hi /r/relationships, a little bit about me - I am a 24M, turning 25 next month. I have also been living in Sydney for the last 7 or 8 years, since I finished high school in my home country of Malaysia. I am also what I consider a huge introvert, and am very into gaming and anime. I also find it very hard to be interested in other things.

I really don't know where to begin.

On a general scale, I find that I have trouble keeping friends. Making friends is hard enough for me, keeping friends is another challenge. In the last 8 years I have been here, I have made no more than 10 friends, of which I don't talk to very regularly.

When I first arrived here, my college had a beach BBQ event for new students. I got told off by a guy from college because I was "hitting on his girl" (even though for the most parts she was standing alone, while he was off doing other stuff). Since then, I have not talked, or attempted to make contact, with girls who have boyfriends or significant others for fear of backlash. Even if it's a friend's girlfriend, or my brother's girlfriend. It's a form of mental trauma I guess - coming to this country as a fresh 17 year old, and for that being your first experience of socializing, would be pretty traumatic. Back in college as well, there was a Caucasian dude who was anti-Asian, so I'm also finding it hard to mix with Caucasians or Westerners.

I am very conscious about first impressions, so I don't want to risk saying something stupid to offend someone.

Fast forward a year, and now I'm in university, studying Computer Science. 4 years went by, I got my degree, but in those 4 years, I never made more than 10 friends - the same friends I still have to this day.

I don't know if it's right for me to specify this as a cause, but when I was going to college, I lived about 2 hours away. This means I woke up at 6am, caught a train and bus, to be in college by 8am. Similarly for university, I wake up at 7am, reach university by 9am, and then by the time I am done with university, it would be pretty late, and I would want to get home instead of hanging out - safety reasons, I simply didn't feel too comfortable being out late at night, without a place I could bunk nearby. As a result, I have pretty much passed on every single form of "partying" or late night activities - the only time university circles are social. I suppose they had weekend circles too, but since I lived so far away, I didn't want to spend 3 hours of my day just travelling. Travelling 3 hours a day can be pretty exhausting.

Fast forward another year, I've completed my degree, and now I have a job. Same problem - living too far away, and simply having trouble talking to people. I find that most, if not all of the people in my current workplace usually enjoy things like going out for drinks, watching TV shows and movies, stuff I don't do.

I'm finding it hard to go with small talk. Kinda like asking someone "how's your weekend?" when I know that what they're going to say will probably go over my head, because I don't even what it is (ie. the difference between wakeboarding and surfing). I also have trouble saying "Hi" to people for whatever reason.

For the last 2 years, I've been cooped up at home during weekends. After work I just head straight home. Once I get home, I simply play games, and just never leave my room. I can see like any other person it's unhealthy as it comes, but I'm falling into a vicious cycle - the more time I spend on my games, the less likely I am to leave my room. Call it escapism.

I also have a form of lack of presence. When I do go to online forums and post, it's like nobody will notice me.

At this point, I don't know what to do. My extended family back home has always been asking me "have you got a girlfriend yet?", and it's beginning to get to me. There's just something about being the eldest child in an Asian family - something about inheriting the family bloodline, and there's no chance I'll be getting a girlfriend anytime soon, so my family is pretty worried. My family is also pressuring me to change jobs, as they feel that I should be getting paid more, but I am simply not motivated enough to look for a new job.

I've been in a relationship for like a month, but I got tired of it because it was a long distance relationship, and the girl was extremely clingy, demanding I call her a couple times a day (once in the morning on the way to work, once more during lunch break at work, and for at least 4 hours once I get home), also not letting me to go to sleep even though it's 3am and I have work the next day, unless I coax her to go to bed over Skype.

What am I missing?

For a while I have been contemplating leaving Sydney, but I don't know where I would go if I choose to leave here - maybe Melbourne. I don't know what opportunities I have for getting a new job, making friends, and finding a significant other would be if I were to leave, or if I were to stay. At this point, I am just drifting through everyday, eventually until the day I meet my maker I guess. Even if I were to apply for a new job, I don't even have the confidence that I'll succeed in landing the job.

(P.S. Don't know if this should be in /r/relationship, or some other sub-reddit. If it's inappropriate to be here, let me know where I should move it to.)

tl;dr: Self-esteem and social troubles. Please help.