TL;DR: I’m (M23) in a relationship with my girlfriend (F25), who I live with and share costs. However, I’ve realized I have stronger feelings for my best friend (F21), who lives in another country. I visited my best friend recently, and we kissed multiple times but didn’t take it further due to guilt. Breaking up with my girlfriend would cause emotional and financial risks, but I don’t want to stay out of guilt or obligation. How do I navigate this situation responsibly?

Post: I’m in a complicated situation and could really use some advice.

I’ve been best friends with a girl, let’s call her GG (F21), for three years. We even tried long-distance dating last year, but it didn’t work out because we live in separate countries. Since then, I’ve been in a relationship with my current girlfriend (F25) for about a year. She’s kind but very emotional, and we’ve been living together and sharing costs, which has made our lives deeply intertwined. However, I’ve realized that I have much stronger feelings for GG. I truly love her as a person, even though there are some things about her that don’t align with my preferences—like the fact that she smokes, while I don’t, and my girlfriend doesn’t either.

Recently, I visited GG in her country, and during that time, we kissed multiple times. GG knows about my girlfriend, and we both feel guilty about what happened. Because of this guilt, we didn’t take things any further, but these moments have made my feelings for her even stronger.

The challenge is that I feel a deeper connection with GG than I do with my girlfriend. At the same time, breaking up with my girlfriend feels overwhelming. It would be an emotional and financial risk, and I know it would hurt her deeply. She’s happy when she’s with me, and the thought of causing her pain feels unbearable.

How do I approach this situation in a way that minimizes harm for everyone involved? How do I balance my own feelings with my responsibilities to my girlfriend and the life we’ve built together?