Ik this is a relationships sub but. Maybe I could get some advice? Im 22F have only been in one “relationship” I wouldn’t even call it that honestly and I just can’t help this bitterness of envy deep within me seeing my friends in good relationships. Their boyfriends care about them, provide and are genuinely good men to them but I was verbally and emotionally abused and its not like I think my friends should be either no way! I would turn this world upside down for them. Its just. I want genuine love you know? And Ive done everything changed the type of men I allow to talk to me, gone out, even tried online dating apps. And each time it’s something so silly and stupid I’ve just gone into a hermit mode. And it’s like no matter how much I know im pretty my friends encourage or say im a good person the whole nine. I just can’t overcome this jealousy, this feeling of loneliness and total rejection. I know I cant blame myself for other people’s actions and what they do. But what do I do with this bundle of feelings. I want love, affection, dates. I want to give love as much as I want to receive it. Especially now the holidays are coming up. My friends they don’t want to do the things I suggest but do it with their boyfriends which has been hard for me to accept but it’s whatever but like ugh. How do I deal with this. What more can I do besides live? Im tired and I really wont ever ask a man for his number or anything ever again cause it has the same outcome but. I just take everything on the chin but my lord would it be good to have a companion, my companion.

TLDR: How do I deal with the loneliness and jealousy of being the single friend