So I (28F) have been with my partner (27F) for a year and a half. I love her very much, we have had some ups and downs but have a lot of love and commitment for each other. She has ADHD and autism so I am a little worried sometimes when she meets new people because she can talk a lot and I knew that wouldn’t sit right with my family. I know how to communicate with my partner well. I warned her about my family beforehand.

She met them over the holidays cause we live in a different state and I just learned 5 months later from my sister that they all didn’t like her and think she’s a mean person? I don’t remember her saying anything rude at all during the trip and I was with her the whole time so I was just really surprised. All my close friends think she’s the sweetest person who would never be mean to anyone.

My sister who lives 2 hours away basically said that she faked liking her for a year and a half just to appease me and she has to be honest and never be around her ever again. She won’t come visit me or I’m not allowed to stay the night at her place when my partner isn’t there. We have a weekend trip planned to a concert that she said I have to not let my partner go or she won’t go see her favorite band. I told her I think I’d stay home with my partner if she can’t come and she got mad at me saying I will forever regret this decision for someone I won’t be with in three years.

Some of the reasons my sister is so mad at my partner is my sister was giving her directions and my partner ran into a curb and dented her own new car. Her immediate reaction to denting her own car was to say “she told me to turn here” when she was frustrated , but I said it’s not my sister’s fault and my partner immediately apologized and said it was her own fault. My sister was also mad because we went on a birthday getaway and my partner refused to eat cake because she’s insecure about her weight, and was feeling a little depressed about it and was quiet for a while when we were eating cake. I personally don’t find these things “malicious” even if they aren’t great. My sister said she hates her and my partner is a bad person.
My sister has told my family of every instance my partner hurt her.

My family just keeps saying they don’t think she’s the “one.” I am really upset and heart broken because I feel really sad that my sister is making me choose between her in a way. Is this doomed to fail? Are all my family members seeing something in my partner that I just don’t see? Is it fair to keep being with my partner but just not bring her around the family anymore?. Thanks for your help.

Tldr; is it wrong of me to want to be with my partner despite my very close sister hating her? And whole family now does too