Disclaimer: this is kind of long but please bare with me!

My (22f) boyfriend (22m) and I have been dating for about 7ish months. Previously we had both been in pretty bad relationships that lasted a couple years each, with cheating happening in both relationships (I got cheated on by my ex, my boyfriend got cheated on by his ex). My relationship with my ex was emotionally taxing and I have done therapy however don’t feel as if its helped. My ex was manipulative, would call me names, and had sex with two of my friends - each of these friends lied to me about it, and so did he for a significant amount of time until I found out on my own. I truly do think he enjoyed the control he had over me and the fact that he could hurt me and I would go back to him.

I am now 2 years removed from that relationship and with my current bf. My bf and I bicker at times but overall very good and I know he is not malicious like my ex. He has lied about one thing, that I found out on my own. I was told his sister had texted his ex to get someone to get her stuff as she lives out of country and had not been able to get it for several months. However he was the one who texted her. He says he lied because he didn’t want me to worry or keep seeing her stuff as I had been a bit insecure ab it at times and would get upset which would end up in an argument. No one else in his family would handle contacting her so he had to. For the most part, I understand why he lied, to avoid me getting upset on top of his family urging him to get her stuff out - however acknowledged the lie was wrong and promised not to lie again.

Although I understand why he lied, I am now struggling with the fear of being lied to/cheated on. So much so that I feel as if I am more scared about not knowing about the betrayal, than the betrayal act itself. For example, him cheating on me and just lying to my face and acting as if nothing happened at all. I am super aware that for the most part this has to do with my ex. This exact fear happened with my ex. Everything I’m worried about my current bf doing, my ex did.

With that said, does anyone have any advice on how to get over this? Or tips from people who have dealt with this? It’s causing arguments with my bf (rightfully so) and I don’t want to ruin my relationship.

Thank you:)

TLDR: dealing with the fear of being betrayed/lied to in my current relationship after an emotionally draining relationship with my ex.