We've been together for over ten years. Have a 7-year old girl and and a 4-year old son. For the most part we've gotten along well with each other's family. My MIL has gone above and beyond to help with the kids and helped me when I was dealing with certain health issues.

So the following was something we didn't expect and makes me feel uncomfortable of interacting with BIL ever again.

BIL got dumped during the Holidays and was feeling down at the start of January. And my husband has made a point of texting him often just to check on him and it looked like he was in better spirits like around mid-month and went on what he called a great date with a former co-worker.

A few days after that, on a weekday, my husband and me were playing a board game with our kids. While texting with my BIL, my husband first sent a voice note of our kids saying hello to their uncle and then a pic of me and my kids huddled around the floor with the board in the middle.

My BIL replied by saying ''only you can turn a h*e into a housewife.''

My husband immediately said he thought his brother might be drinking or something when he showed it to me. I was shocked at the sheer randomness of being insulted like that.

We didn't want to ruin the kids' night so we agreed to talk to my BIL later but in the meantime my husband responded by saying that wasn't funny and asking if he has a problem with me or was trying to rile him up. BIL just deleted it and didn't respond.

Once the kids were in their room and it was just us. My husband tried to reach out to my BIL but he ignored his calls and texts. He assured me his brother was feeling bad over it and probably wasn't thinking when he said it. And he'd get things cleared up soon enough.

The day after my husband tried to figure out what had crawled up my BIL's butt and somehow his explanation just made things worse. Saying he was just jealous because I don't look like a typical housewife but I'm so good at it and how that picture reminded him of how far he is from having a family of his own and then he double-downed on how out of place I looked.

The out of place comment was in reference to me not having cleaned my dark lipstick off, holding what looked like a cocktail drink(just fruit juice ) and wearing a nice top while my kids were in homier outfits. For context, we were playing freaking Clue, my husband and I had come back from having coffee with friends and I though I could role-play a socialite so I didn't switch to something more comfy.

That along with my shoulder back tattoo meant I had no business being in a cozy family picture apparently.

BIL said over and over again how it was a shitty joke but I still felt he had/has some personal problem with me. My husband told him to sort himself out and reach back when he had a real apology. So then he contacted me, wrote a whole paragraph saying how sorry he is and how he hates how he's put his brother in awkward place and how I ''know'' he respects and cares about me and how I'm family.

I told him I felt there was more to it and I'd be willing to forgive him but first he had to be completely honest. He replied by going on a weird tangent about how I don't fit the profile of a regular, great housewife and how my husband is lucky he got the ''best of both worlds'' and the more I asked for context the stranger and weirder it got.

I didn't want him in our house last week for my son's birthday and knowing that he just texted my brother how he'd promise to take us all to a theme park ''when things went back to normal''.

My husband told me its been three weeks and how my BIL has apologized over a dozen times now and if we could all just get along again. I told him he can't dictate when I should forgive someone else and that maybe I never will and my husband told me that's an overreaction over a few stupid comments my BIL ''obviously'' didn't mean.

Tl;dr BIL first insulted me and in trying to apologize just weirded me out and insulted me again. Husband is telling me I should soon forgive him and I'm trying to make him understand I don't feel comfortable interacting with my BIL at all ever again.