My boyfriend (36m) told me he loved me (35f) and within a week had a crisis and became suicidal. I stayed. Turns out he has a lot of past childhood trauma. Things seemed ok for a bit, but he started struggling with holding a job. He quit a good job because it was too mentally exhausting while dealing with his trauma. He’s been struggling and I have seen him quit and throw in the towel on 3 jobs now for various reasons related to either his mental health or his impulsivity. He barely can make ends meet. He almost checked himself into the hospital. He’s awaiting therapy but funding takes time. We are 5 months in… and I’m second guessing things. I promised I wouldn’t abandon him but this is SO hard. There is nothing I can do to help him except love him and it’s not enough. I feel like I can’t have a future with him if he can’t take care of himself. I just left a bad relationship. He’s very loving and treats me so well and we have a great connection. But his unresolved trauma is not what I signed up for. It’s hurting my mental health, and it’s hard hearing your loved one tell you they wish they weren’t alive most days. (He doesn’t tell me that everyday, but has told me that he thinks it every day).

This is the first time his trauma has come up this bad he tells me. It’d getting worse for him. And I want to be supportive but it’s hurting my mental health and I worry about his ability to contribute to a partnership and financial ability. How do I know when enough is enough? I feel guilty for feeling this way.

Tl:dr boyfriends trauma making him suicidal at times, can’t keep a job, depressed. 5 month relationship, I love him and he treats me well but how can we have a future if he can’t keep a job and has all this unresolved trauma?