Me [23M] and Abby [21F] (not her real name) are pretty tight. We were both ER techs and worked 12hr shifts in close quarters together, so we got to know each other pretty well. We hit it off immediately and became great friends. I left the ER for a different one a few weeks after we met, but even then we kept hanging out regularly and texting every day.We're just friends, totally platonic, but I feel like the most true version of myself with her. I'm a chronic extrovert and meet a lot of people, and I've only met one other person who I've felt this close to in all my years. We're just on exactly the same wavelength. We don't shut up when we're with each other; I remember one night, I told myself "I'll send her home at 2am", then I looked at my phone and it was 5am and we were still talking. One of my favorite moments with her was when I said I was really tired once and wasn't sure if I could drive an hour back to where I live. She then drove me around in her car for an hour so I could sleep, knowing that I sleep freakishly well in cars. She taught me how to ride a bike drunk in my driveway at midnight, after traveling 1hr by train to hang out with me all day, and I still have that damn bike and love it to hell and back.

Recently things have felt weird, though. She's always been a little flaky and usually reschedules things for an hour or so later after we agree, but in the last month or so it's been really bad. I've made plans with her and turned down other people, then when I text if she's still down ~15min before the time we agreed on, I get left on delivered for hours. Sometimes, I'll ask if she's down, she'll say yes, I'll ask when/where, then get left on delivered for ~1hr, and by then I'm in bed.Sometimes we get something to work, like the last time we hung out about 2 weeks ago. Felt totally natural while we were together; I don't think I said anything dumb to offend her to cause this recent behavior pattern. She'd asked how many roommates I had; when I asked why, she said something like "thinking about if we can host a drinking night here".

Aaaand now we're back to flakiness and not hanging out.

So, yeah. I miss her. I'm totally overanalyzing everything because I miss my friend. And I'm just hella confused on why everything feels so difficult all of a sudden. I brought it up to her earlier and she said she's just overwhelmed with a specific life issue she's having (one I'm aware of and can confirm it's a good reason why a lot of her brainspace is being taken up at the moment). She's also got ADHD out the ass so she's bad at keeping schedules/remembering stuff. She's *also* also got a job where she's pulling 24hr shifts and working hella hours. I want to give her grace, but... I had the same job and I still found time to plan stuff, even if it was in advance.

What do I do? Should I keep reaching out with next-to-zero expectations, or fuck off and let her re-find me again? Is she making plans with me as a backup, then ditching me when someone else comes through? She's quitting her long-hours job in a few months for another, much more normal job, at least. I just don't know what to say or do to keep the friendship.Caveat: we've both mentioned that we're super into each other. We kissed one night while drunk. But then, the next time we hung out, I tried to be flirtatious and got nothing, absolutely 0, in return. I was confused and asked her, and she said that she "doesn't know if she likes me or if she likes the feeling of being wanted", so we agreed to not do anything. Now my crush is gone, I moved on to some other gal, but now I'm worried I came off as overbearing somehow. I know how stifling unwanted feelings from another dude are.

But there's just so many possible reasons. I just want to see her in person to hang out and have an irl convo about how it's kinda lame that she's leaving me on delivered all the time when we make plans. Should I keep reaching out, or let her come to me, even if the ball is solidly in her court?

TL;DR 8mo, super intense friendship suddenly feels very distant and I don't know if I should keep contacting her.