Hi guys,I have been talking on and off with my ex-girlfriend. We have not had a great year, and I am to blame for that honestly, I have had conflicting feelings about her and problems with weed abuse.

I only really want to talk to her when I'm stoned, and when I am not stoned I realise how manipulative it is that I do that. A couple of times when I am stoned and having a bad time in my own life I have said some horrible things, mostly when talking about our disintegrating relationship. I feel ashamed of what I say, but I haven't really been remorseful

Since things became very difficult between us but she didn't want to stop talking to me and I couldn't manage to stop communicating with her, she told me recently that she doesn't see me as someone she is romantically interested in.

Tonight when I rung her I told her I want to meet her for a date, which we tried before (going to a festival) but is super complicated because we live in different countries and she declined. She told me that she feels happy in herself to be dating now, and doesn'ŧ see me romantically any more, but would be happy to meet up to hang out as friends.

Her option to hang out as friends doesn't work for me, and I really don't want to ruin this the happiness she has built for herself by going over there and bringing things back to a place she doesn't want to be, but I have tried dating apps and loads of stuff to meet people and I have had an agonising time.

I need some strength from God or somewhere to be able to resist texting her the next time I feel low, knowing that she will reply

TL;DR: My ex-girlfriend has said she is happy dating other people, and I need help to respect that