I cant tell if it’s because of denial or something else but I just can’t figure it out.

Me (21m) and my ex(21f) who we call call “M” had broken up about two weeks ago. We were long distance due to summer and our homes being far from school (8hrs roughly). The reason for her to break up with me is that her brother had passed away unexpectedly and it is extremely difficult for her and her family during this time.

She said that she just needs time to heal and to focus on herself healing process. I can completely understand that and tried to offer a break rather than a break up. She did not want this. After the break up call which ended with I love you, for the next four days we kept exchanging texts like we had been before with the I love yous and good mornings and good nights, Even facetime calls too! This was up until she turned off her location and removed my access to our shared notes sheet of date plans.

She has told me in the past she tends to burn bridges when hurting and even her parents told me that as well. I know she loves me and cares for me, and I know I would do anything for her. Eventually I’d like to reconnect when school starts again (middle of august) to just reach out and see how’s she’s doing, just for her mental health.

We haven’t had contact besides one long message I sent to her to apologize for not properly giving her space while she was grieving and we were still together and to say that I am here for her and the like.

It honestly kills me we ended it this way, she was supposed to meet my family and even days before breaking up with me we rescheduled a flight to come up to visit and she seemed excited about it.

I just don’t know how it can flip on it’s head so fast and how much It takes me not to message her just to talk or say hi. It hurts so much to know that the reason we broke up isn’t even because of us.

I think we have more time together, I still want us. I’m gonna wait until I reach out again to even try anything other than that. I just wanted to be there to catch her when she falls.

TLDR: I miss my ex and we broke it off on good terms but out of the blue and idk how to proceed