So today I got some not so great news from my boyfriend. He hasn’t been to the doctor in over a year and so he decided to go this week. something that he found out today was he tested positive for a chlamydia.

He told me calmly and really didn’t know how to tell me. I could tell he was so confused. He’s never experienced this. I could tell he was like nervous to tell me (who wouldn’t be in this situation) He told me it must have happened before he met me in between when he broke up with his last girlfriend and when he moved (back end of 2019 to early 2020). For context we met in April 2020. And I do believe him because he knows I’ve been cheated on in the past and he is the most caring an supportive partner I’ve had,

However my anxiety is still trying to creep in. I’m trying to remind myself that it is 100% possible to have an STI and not know it, because a lot are asymptomatic and a lot of people don’t do their normal check ups. And I believe that’s what happened with him. Because I was tested right before I met him and I was clean. And I know him - I KNOW he doesn’t go to the doctors as often as he should nevermind getting these types of tests.

So anyway he paid for me to go get my own test. I’m waiting on results. I’m also trying to be understanding that this was very difficult for him to tell me since he wasn’t expecting it at all either.

I just don’t know how to feel. I was really distressed earlier today and I’m calmer now. But this type of thing is one of my biggest fears (cheating) and although I trust him that this happened prior to us meeting I still just feel so uneasy toward this (which is normal because who wants to hear this news). I’m just trying to think rationally and trust that it was just something he had no idea he had.

How common is this situation? To have an STI and have no idea about it due to no symptoms and not getting regular check ups?

Thank you so much in advance. I know I’m overthinking because we live together and literally are Barely ever apart.