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Me (32F) and my partner (33M) have been dating for just over a year. We are each others' first real experience in nonmonogamy. He had RA on his dating profile when we met and I wasn't sure what it was but looked into it a bit and liked the general concept that romantic & sexual relationships shouldn't hold higher value than other relationships. However, I have personally felt that I need the emotional security of being a "primary" partner which I know goes against the non-hierarchal aspect of RA. I have also gone back & forth in my views on marriage, but after reading Committed and doing some interospection I have realized that it is something I would like, (albeit potentially in a different form than a traditional marriage), which again, isn't really in line with RA.
He went through an eviction a few months ago and has spent most of the summer living with me and we have talked about potentially living together longer term and have had some talk about potentially being life partners. We can be open about things and understand each other in ways that we haven't had with many people and I generally feel very secure and stable in our relationship.
Just interested in people's thoughts on whether both parties need to identify as RA in a life partner/ nesting situation where one of them is or if there are ways it can work "lopsided" (for lack of a better term). I do believe in a lot of the concepts of RA but not sure I fully identify with it for myself yet.
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