Idk what i should do

So, I am having some major issues in my marriage with my wife. Me 41M my wife 40F. We have been together for 20 years now. We have kids together. While dating, she cheated on, and I forgave her then. Years later, I stumbled upon her texting with another guy, sending NSFW pics back and forth with him. Kinda forgave her for that, but I'm still paranoid about it. And she also, a few years ago, emotionally cheated on me 2 times now. Once with a friend (ex friend now) and now with a random person, she met this app that loves 45 min or so away from where we stay.

She has told me it is my fault for the issues we are having, saying we have nothing in common. We dint do alot together. I have my hobbies she has hers. I have done some of her hobbies and enjoy them but don't do them all the time. She has tried my hobbies 1 or maybe 2 times, and just downright will not do them. We watch some movies (or used to a lot) and tv shows. I have seen the depression that grew in her but everytime I tried to ask what was wrong she would say nothing is wrong, I don't wana talk about it or I don't wana talk about it because nothing we can do about it. I have tried to do more stuff with her, so we are doing stuff together, but she always says no. She said she has tried to get me to do stuff with her. She offered 2 things to try and do with her, and I didn't get to them to try them. Forgot to check the things out. Plus, it costs money for the things, and the budget is a little tight.

Now we did do a separation for a while (3 months or so) saying she needed space and time to work on her, then I moved back in with her. After moving back in, I found out she had been on dating apps and blocked me from them so I wouldn't see her on the aps. (I did download both apps just to be curious if she is doing stuff like that because of our past, and she has told me that she has never been single since she was 16. Always had a new BF before dumping the old guy)

Sorry, this is a long post. I'm dumping my soul here, lol.

So she was on the apps (Tinder and Bumble). I never found her, and then she told me she was on there. Saying she was looking for friendship and someone to talk to nothing more. Now she wants to separate again, but I know she has someone she is talking to and might be attracted to, and it breaks my heart. We have been arguing off and on. I think she is sleeping aroind she says she isn't. She mentioned that at the end of her lease on her current place, she might have to move in with a guy she just met, and she said she doesn't want to do that. Idk if I believe her or not.

I am still in love with this woman. I told her every day when we were, I thought, still good, thay she is beautiful and that I loved her. More than once a day. I would send text sometimes randomly telling her I love you.

With this separation, idk if it will ever be able to stay together. Idk if I could trust her ever again. I just want to turn my feelings off for her so I don't feel like this with her anymore. So I can move on. We are not separated yet, but I am looking for places to move to. I will hipfully be out soon. I just don't know what to do or think anymore. I have been told by numerous ppl that she is manipulating me to get what she wants, and I should just leave and not go back. But there is a part of me that knows when we separate, and she tries to come back that I will take her back, no questions asked, and forgive again. And I don't want that, but idk if I can stop myself from that. Idk what to do or think or anything anymore. What should I do? Should I try harder and make the relationship work. Do the separation and let time play it out and see what happens. Idk what to do. It aucks. I feel helpless, stressed, and depressed.