[Warning this maybe inappropriate to some readers]

I regretted chasing a guy I thought I had feelings for, but the sad reality is I didn't really know why I have feelings in the first place.

The only reason I had "feelings" because I gave him bj and that was it. Ya stupid for just liking and having feelings for a guy for that only reason. I'll admit. However it's when I ended up trying to push him to allow me to give another bj. I know you can call me stupid or even worst things I won't go against it. Overall I regret chasing him because it made me lose some of my friends because I wouldn't stop talking about him. I hate that I never stop myself.

Could if get worst? Oh ya it can I ended up finding his socials. I pretty much stalked him even catfish him once to get more info, but I didn't stop myself and keep texting him and asked him questions like a psycho.

[Before I go on this is wear it gets bad]

One day on a separate account he told me he did a porn video and I pushed him to show me the video, he wouldn't; eventually he did and well I watched it. Later on, this video plagued in my mind rent free and I can't get it out of my head. I ended up continuing till the end of summer, sometimes when I see him the thought of that video comes to mind.

The worst part is this was all during highschool, I don't know if he knows or not and to be honest I hated myself that I did that to him and stalking him; my friends where right I was obsessed with him and now I don't know what to do! All I know is karma will come and I deserve it.

I hate myself for doing this and doing to myself and to him.