i’m the type of person that claims they’re suicidal at every turbulent moment in life (break ups, layoffs, whatever). it’s obnoxious and attention seeking but i’ve learned to accept it and move past that mentality.

however, i’m now feeling worse than i ever have. this is a different feeling than what i’ve dealt with in the past and im genuinely very scared. i literally have no one to turn to (parents, siblings, friends, former partners… although that’s probably the most humiliating). i’m truly in the hole now and because i’ve claimed suicide so many times, no one cares now.

anyway. how to rebuild? i genuinely have no friends at this point in my life because ive pushed everyone away. i’m genuinely suicidal and have no one to reach out to. even suicide hotlines have an unbearable wait so i’ve given up there. help me get out of this pussy ass mentality 🙏

why am i posting this on rspod? no clue. i guess im done being coddled