5:30pm

On a Friday

Philadelphia, PA

Paddy's is packed to the brim with customers. The Gang is frantically trying to keep up with business

DEE: It just keeps getting busier and busier!

MAC: RIGHT?

DENNIS: How are we supposed to keep up with this? I mean, even with Frank helping out we're still overwhelmed!

FRANK: *panting* We need an extra pair of hands around here!

CHARLIE: *running into the bar from the street* GUYS, I'VE GOT TERRIBLE NEWS!

DENNIS: Well, grab a couple tables while you help us!

CHARLIE: The Waitress just lost her job! And since we're so busy here lately I was thinking maybe we could hire her!

The Gang looks at Charlie in shocked disbelief

DENNIS: No. NO.

DEE: We're NOT hiring that bitch, she'll steal my tips!

FRANK: Shut up, bird! We need the extra help! Dennis, call her now!

DENNIS: Why? Why should I?

FRANK: Because if you don't, I'm walking. I shouldn't have to be waiting tables; I'm too old for this shit!

MAC: *with an astonished look* FRANK, that gives me an amazing idea: Lethal Weapon 8!

DENNIS: Okay, okay! I'll call the Waitress! So long as we have no more Lethal Weapon movies *glaring at Mac and Frank*

Cut to later in the evening after the bar has closed for the night. The Waitress walks into the Gang eagerly waiting for her

WAITRESS: Alright, what do you want?

DENNIS: Hey, so let's just cut to the chase here: we need help at the bar.

DEE: Charlie told us you lost your last job, so do you want to work here?

WAITRESS: NO! No. I am not working with Charlie!

DENNIS: Okay, let me put it this way: you can either work in the bar with us...

DEE: or you can live on the street like Cricket.

Cricket walks out of the bathroom high on PCP and straight out the door

CRICKET: Same time tomorrow, fellas?

MAC: Sure! Have a good night, Cricks!

WAITRESS: Okay, I'll do it!

CHARLIE: AYY, welcome to the Gang!

WAITRESS: Woah woah woah, let me get one thing clear: I'll work in your bar, but I am never joining your Gang.

Cut to Title Card: [The Waitress Joins The Gang]

Mary Elizabeth Ellis's name is included in the opening credits under Kaitlin Olson's