I will list my issue here and background below as mostly I just want to hear how others are dealing with this. Any feedback/personal experience/advice is welcome.

I lost last pregnancy in late October, I am just starting to feel physically normal again. I keep on drinking wine and overdoing it with coffee. I am not back to running (something I have enjoyed for years). All because I keep thinking “oh well I will be pregnant again soon and won’t be able to enjoy wine/coffee/food” and “oh well, what is the point of getting back into running and setting goals as I will be pregnant again soon and will be too fatigued”?

The argument of doing my best to keep up the healthy lifestyle isn’t working either as I have been doing that for over a year and am back to square one for the 6th time.

Background/my story: I had 2 MMCs and 4 chemicals in the course of 1 year.

Last pregnancy ended as MMC at 11 weeks, fetus stopped developing around 8w5d.

Genetic testing came back fine, also I’ve been tested for anything under the sun except for antiphospholipid syndrome (dr made a mistake and didn’t order the test so I will get it done next week).