I thought the stories were all made up some how. I hear/read about others having problems even years later down the road after the last drink I had was 6 years ago. Things seem to be fine with everything in general work, dating, hobbies, first apartment on my own, being my only support as I fought through it all getting sober. Years go by with no problems.

But now I been having spills of solid anxiety. They happens every couple weeks I notice and now it’s an everyday thing.

I can’t deal with people at all and my temper is short and to the point.
I don’t ever go out anymore or do the things I used to do Finding or keeping a job seems impossible anymore. Mornings I can’t leave the house at all anymore I have cameras everywhere I’m extremely paranoid I have separated from my family and didn’t even know it. I made a small room in front of the house we don’t use and made it my den and i am there always.
I act childish a lot I fear a lot of things I never did before Being alone scares me A coupe medical issues. High blood sugar off the chart all the time. I’m on a shot 3ml and metformin 1000mg No sex drive of any kind

I wasn’t like this at all until the last 2 years I had a huge panicked attack while hiking. The first few experiences really took a toll and I’ve gone downhill. I remember having these attacks when I was drunk and they would last 3-4 days. Most of the time I was awake on pure adrenaline I guess from alcohol withdrawals.
We go hiking everywhere and this never happens.

I’m seeking therapy now and they are saying I have PTSD?

I’m 42 and 16 of those I carried a handle around always. I slept and ate where I could and made due with homeless shelters most of the time.

I am thinking about filing disability I haven’t been able to keep a job or I can’t leave the house most of the time. I burned so many interviews I can’t count anymore.

I have so much more to say, be safe out there!

Just needed a rant I feel better ❤️‍🩹 tho.