This is a follow up to my previous post.

I said goodbye to my sponsor, told my group of AA “friends” that I will no longer be a part of the program. I know some people told me I should stick around just for the meetings but I feel that for me right now, that is not a mentally healthy thing to do.

As I took a step back and really examined the 12 steps it became very clear what their intent is, and what their assumption of the character of addicts is. The steps are designed in a way to use your self-loathing against you. Both the steps, and the Big Book, are centered around the idea that an addict is an egotistical megalomaniac. That it’s a person who must be taught that they are powerless, that they are a walking bag of character defects. It’s designed to “put you in your place”. You are asked to frame your past relationships in a negative light. The steps are centered around the idea that the person with addiction is inherently an abuser, a predator, a womanizer, a manipulator. That’s why so many of the steps are centered around the idea of atonement. It is an attempt to eliminate your self esteem and self identity. You are to reduce yourself to nothing more than an addict.

Self humility is a good thing. It’s a great thing to want to be of service to others. But I don’t believe you need to get there through weaponized self laceration. There is a crucial difference between self-humility and self- belittlement. Some people need self-empowerment. Some people need to learn the confidence to seek out a healthy and happy life. I don’t believe every person with substance use issues has lived the angry confrontational life that AA seems to assume we all did.

I’m writing here to thank everyone who commented and shared in my last post. I’m going to share my experiences with other programs such as SMART Recovery so that hopefully others can learn about alternatives to AA. Thanks for reading and remember: you are a multi-dimensional human being; do not allow anyone to reduce you to a single label!