I'm a 51 year old dude. I've been sober about 20 days now (i've been sober before, for about a year... beginning around 2 years ago, but that was more out of fear from court ordered urine testing). after the testing ended, i went back to my usual routine. This time, i'm trying to get sober on my own.

both times in my sobriety, my mind obsessively ruminates about so many negative things.... from wreckage due to drinking going back decades (mostly dui related, some not legal related).... and also bad things from the ancient distant past as far back as college (not really drinking related). Things i can't change but i fight the reality of my past.... thinking, if i had only done this or that differently then a whole chain of things wouldn't have happen. it's so obsessive sometimes that it is interfering with my concentration with work and such. brings my anxiety and depression levels up. There's alot more to what's going on in my brain, but that's the short story of it.

I wasn't an everyday drinker (maybe binged twice a week), but it seemed to be enough to keep me from ruminating/dwelling on recent things and as far back as decades ago.

can anyone getting sober relate to this or am i just crazy?