I still suffer a lot of pain from words spoken over me at a charismatic church many years ago. The Holy Spirit's efforts to crucify the flesh at that denomination just served to make me very depressed. I currently attend a Baptist church but the memories of those old experiences at the church I attended in my 20s are so traumatic that I cannot see God as good nor can I seem to get back to where I was in my youth or young adult years when I really loved God. I didn't have a pleasant childhood. I experienced lots of loneliness, rejection, and abandonment. The experiences of the charismatic group only compouned that.

I'm constantly filled with flashbacks and hard memories of that time period even though I'm now 50. Those of you in the church who experienced trauma---how were you able to heal? I struggle so much with the idea of God being good. I have a large distrust of who God is and what He stands for. How do I heal from those years so I can move on?