Married 18 years. In those 18 years, he held a full-time job for 5 years. I have always had to scrap together work and gigs to get the bills covered. He has only paid for himself and me for 5 years out of our 23-year relationship and 18-year marriage. Most of the kids are fully grown. I have one child still at home who is old enough to decide which parent he would prefer (me). Never had a proper wedding. Never had a proper wedding ring. We literally got married at first so he could keep custody of his children that we had together.

He is now working 4 hours a day most days and not able to cover his own expenses. He is becoming medically abusive. I have been withheld medical care on multiple occasions in the past couple years. He is dismissive of my concerns. He complains about chores that everybody has got in this house...even the kid. He constantly gets onto the child for bullshit. (Throws paper on the floor and yells at the kid to pick it up like he is his slave) This is new by the way as he has gotten older. He is becoming more radical than even I can handle, and everyone here thinks I am radical. I used to think it was depression or something so I would try everything to please him and brighten his mood.

Literally, today he was complaining he was hungry and didn't want to cook, so I offered. In the kitchen of the house I bought for cash before we were married he was complaining about how I was cooking and telling me not to bother. I told him I was going to cook in my kitchen I bought and he just didn't have to eat it. The level of bullshit after ...it's a miracle I am not in jail right now. SO I am here asking how to handle this situation civillay. Any advice is appreciated.