Not sure how this will be received still just get it off of my chest. I have struggled with being an active part of the LGBT… community pretty much my entire life. Never wanted to “fit in” but also didn’t expect to have 0 interest in the things/events that community hosts thru out my city.

There is an event here called the “Red Dress Run” idk much about it besides what i’ve seen over the years. It’s a bunch of guys dressing up in red dresses in support of some worthy cause I’m sure. I’ve always only known women straight and other wise attend as well as plenty gay men of all varieties which is their main crowd.

Anyways, I had to recently distance myself from a straight male friend of about 6 months bcuz he was so extremely comfortable around me and wanted to spend every day with me I ended up catching feelings as we continued to get to know each other. Ultimately, I had to step away bcuz he made it clear he wasn’t into men at all and certainly not into me in that way.

We recently reconnected after maybe 3 months. While chilling for a bit he mentioned he and 6 of his friends (idk sexual orientation of friends) either way he and 6 others attended the Red Dress Run and he says he had the time of his life plus he mentioned a bonus (there were plenty straight women for him & his friends to hit on.)

Growing up gay and during the 90s as a young buck, femininity was shunned in every single way when it came to gay men . My mindset is somehow still set in that way of thinking as I’ve become an adult.

Question 1: Am I weird for feeling so uncomfortable taking part in things the LGBT comm. host, but majority of my straight male friends have no problems with & are more than open to experiencing those kinds of events and crowds.

Question 2: Is it me, why do I feel like I want to judge him for attending that event? I also feel like “What is wrong with me” that I wouldn’t take part in things like this?

I know some ppl are simply more comfortable either with themselves or with how ppl see their actions.

Question 3: Do you as a gay man ever feel disconnected from the LGBT… community? Am i overthinking the gay/straight thing when it comes to my friend.

He says he isn’t into guys but he has begun doing different things around the city either in support of LGBt or simply because he “enjoys” a mixed crowd of women and men.

If you think it’s a me thing, please suggest a way or two I can break out of my comfort zone or this mindset of picking and choosing what I want to be apart of when it relates to LGBT.. community etc.

I’m sure I could add much more detail about this type of situation with me but tried to get str8 to the point. Sometimes I feel like it would be nice to meet more gay guys for friends fun etc around the city but I don’t go anywhere to interact with that side of town.