I made a post on a few subreddits a few weeks ago wondering if carrying my dog in a backpack would improve her shy/fearful behavior of new environments. I received mixed feedback, but the overwhelmingly majority of people insisted that I should let her make her own choices and reward the courageous ones. So I’ve been doing that.

There’s an outdoor racket ball court on our walk route in the park. She went from sniffing around it outside of it for 20 minutes (off the leash, late at night when the park is mostly empty), to willingly following me inside in about a week. She’s not entirely comfortable in there, but she’s comfortable enough to go in play for a few seconds and sniff around before wanting to go back out.

The trade off is that now she has gotten A LOT more stubborn about leaving the park. I used apply steady but low pressure on the leash when she would stop (after scanning for potential stressors), and she would eventually agree to move. Now, if I got at her pace, it takes an hour to leave the park. The thing is that now I don’t can’t tell if she’s stopping because she wants to wait for an incoming dog to pass by so that she can say hi/play, or if she’s afraid, or she just doesn’t want to leave the park.

I don’t want to go back to applying pressure to the leash because when I switched to going at her pace I realized that she was “agreeing” to walk in places that she did not want to walk, and I felt aweful. But shit — I have to get home sometime!!

It frustrates me, and it frustrates her, and neither of us are happy. In fact, I’m concerned that I’m making it worse because I’m sure she can tell that I’m frustrated. Just now we were in the elevator, and a delivery man was in there with us. He was going to get off the elevator before us, and she was afraid of the package (I guess?), so she was basically hugging the door waiting for it to open. I know that the the guy is going to have to go in that way and that movement towards her is going to freak her out, so I call her over to my side and she refuses. I pull gently, and she adamantly resists. We get to the guy’s floor, and at this point I have to pull her more forcefully to get her to me and prevent an accident with the guy (tangled with the leash, stepping on her, I don’t know, I just knew that I should keep them a bit apart) — Now we’re both frustrated, she’s more afraid than she was, and I still feel terrible for contributing to that

We got to the apartment and I gave her one of her favorite chews and left the room because I shouldn’t be around her when I’m this frustrated. She’s chewing happily and I’m fuming.

Im a college student and trying to mitigate her behavioral issues is tanking my gpa. I got a dog as an emotional support animal because I have crippling mental health issues, and I really thought that this would help, but I wasn’t ready or equipped for this. I mean, I’m better with her than without her, because at least now I don’t think about killing myself everyday. But I just want ready for that’s and I’m still not equipped for it.

I got a puppy to avoid behavioral issues, and I was ready and prepared for all the things that everyone always complains about with puppies. The chewing, the biting, the potty accidents… all of it. But now I’m dealing with all of that AND the behavioral issues of a rescue (she’s 8 months old and please don’t tell me that all of this is because she’s so young because I really don’t think that’s the case and I’ve had 2 certified trainers confirm this).

I had a dog growing up and she had NONE of these issues. That dog was fearless. I didn’t know that dogs could be genetically predisposed to developing anxiety. I really just assumed that this was something that was exclusive to rescues… i figured that’s why they were rescues…

I asked my vet whether meds were right for her and she responded with a condescending and dismissive no 5 minutes after commenting on how surprisingly anxious she was behaving in the examination room.

I feel trapped. I feel like a terrible dog owner because I’m not equipped to help her, but I also feel like if I give her up she might end up in a place that’s worse so I’m committed. Im crying while I write this. I have a midterm in 28 minutes that I haven’t studied for because. Our walks have been taking 2-3 hrs now with her stopping to evaluate things and my trying to respect that and there’s only 24hrs in the day.

I tried Composure for dogs and it hasn’t helped. I mean she’s happy cus she things she’s getting a treat but that’s it.

Behaviorists in my area cost in the thousands, but I’m about to go into a little bit of debt to invest in one because I need help. I know that I need help. I can’t do this alone, and I don’t see the point in waiting until she’s 2 or so and nothing else has worked — Why the hell are meds treated like a last resort!!?? I don’t understand!!!

I’m on meds and they saved my life… FUCKK!!’

I’m sorry…. I just needed to vent and I don’t know anyone that can relate

I’m not looking for or asking for anything, I just needed to yell into the void