Sometimes I spiral into depression and all I crave is for someone to find me, beat me for baiting them and have them rape me until I am unconscious

I don't want any broken bones or permeant physical damage but I do want to feel less than human

Especially in to teasing black guys in less than safe neighborhoods

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The thing is I was actually raped by a black guy that was high on coke.

It was my first time dressing up for someone in panties and I was nervous.

He fucking my virgin hole with only spit as lube.

I begged for him to stop but he wouldn't. He even breed me raw.

Ever sense I have wanted to recreate this but he went to jail shortly after my encounter.

I also do not think he was rough enough or verbal enough.

But it was still the best sex I have ever had.