confession - asian newly addicted to bwc

I broke up with my ex at the start of COVID. I thought it would be good to put myself out there since, aside from some amateur modeling here and there, I have a pretty conservative East Asian upbringing. Slowly I started to go on dates with white men here and there through apps. I was just curious. Then I mustered up the courage to let one of them fuck me after the 5th date. It was mind blowing. I started seeing more guys and fast forward almost a year later I think I’ve become lowkey addicted to the feeling of being pinned down with a stranger with a bwc unapologetically rearranging my insides. Then having dinner with my friends or family afterward like nothing ever happened. No one in my circle knows about this, they’d be shocked at what I’ve been doing the last year and a half☺️ I fantasize about being the innocent Asian girl gang raped by a group of fit, older hung white men with yellow fever