So, I went to this transgirl bar and I was expecting to hang out and bond with some other girls. I was hesitant about going in and this girl outside told me I should go in and that it would be a fun time.

Anyway, I paid the cover and it turns out it was a place where girls give lap dances for money. A guy ended up approaching me and I took him to the lap dance area. I thought it was going to be flirty and suggestive dancing. Just something you do and then you forget about it. But, it turned into an experience I'm still thinking about.

This guy put his fingers inside me and started to finger me and that shit fucking hurt and I pertended to be into it, but no. Then he took out my girlhood and started to play with it. He gave me $25 and I feel I undervalued myself cause other girls were charging $40. So I got back my money for the cover and an extra $5.

Anyway, I just thought the whole thing would be some flirty and suggestive dancing that I wouldn't give a second thought about. But, I just feel so ugh. I just feel weak for not telling him to fuck off or being like WTF are you doing. Like I'm just sitting her like WTF is wrong with me why did I go along with i, Like Lady folk yes and Men no.

But, I was curious I thought it was going to fun, silly and just yeah that's a thing I did but, I'm here being obsessive about this whole thing.

I kinda of don't want to tell my gf cause I feel she'll up upset about the whole lap dance thing. But, I've been to fetish parties before and she doesn't care and those involve licking and kissing things rather than just dancing suggestively, but we've never talked about that before.

I don't know I guess the main takeaway of the ordeal is the sexual assault. I was doing good not thinking about it, but now it's back on my mind.

My friend said I didn't cheat and that I was sexually assaulted and have nothing to feel guilty about. But it's hard not feeling like I did something wrong.

It was just a bad day. On the way way home a homeless man stopped me I thought he wanted directions or something. But he ended up grabbing my ass. I walked away and he's like come here maybe I wanted to spend some money on you Then I finally get to the train and as I'm walking the platform this dude yells WTF at me. Then his friend glares at me and he apologizes Then when I finally get close to home this dude makes kissy faces at me.