My last assault happened two years ago but I still feel the hollowness. It's hard for me to watch anything that deals with rape or anything related. Watching, reading, listening, thinking... it all brings this heaviness inside of me that can turn my whole mood around in seconds. I'm only 17... will it get easier? Will I ever be able to hear about the subject or related subjects and not have flashbacks or this deep sorrow? I'm soon going off to college. I'll be going to parties and hanging out with people alone. I'm so scared of being drugged and raped. I'm scared of going into the real world, not because of money or responsibilities but because I know I'm going to experience sexual harassment and possibly sexual violence again. I was very young when I first was exposed to the dirt of humanity. I still carry the scars, physical and emotional. I'm scared of going into the real world because I don't know if I can handle it again. It happened to me when I was under the wings of my parents who tried everything they could to prevent it, what will happen when I don't have that anymore? I know so many women, including my mom and grandmother who have been drugged, raped, beaten, harassed, fired for not having sex, and so many other disgusting things. I'm so scared.