I have memories of being abused when I was less than nine years old, I have no name or visible face, but I remember being obsessed with the subject of r4pe at that age. What normal kid who hasn't been through anything researches, writes and talks about SA at that age?

Outside of that, I was groomed several times since I was 11 years old, my groomer got me addicted to porn for a while and made me look to go through it again until I was 14.

Now, every time I see an adult or elderly man I think that he is going to do something to me, I imagine the situation and my life if it really happened, I get very uncomfortable every time I am close to a man.

Why does this happen to me? Was I abused? I don't understand anything